End of Year Goodbye.
Plus three themes I'm leaning into in the new year.
Hello friends,
I don’t know about you but this year feels like it chewed me up and I’m still waiting for it to spit me out. It was rewarding, but mostly challenging—stretching me in many ways that I’d be fine not repeating, at least for a while.
There was racing to finish my manuscript, while at the same time packing up our lives in Seattle and moving across the country. An intense week-long cookbook photoshoot in NYC as soon as we hit the East Coast, followed by 6 weeks of traveling through Georgia with our 2 ½ year old. Once we returned, it was all about settling in to life in Providence; working through the ups and downs of a new job (my husband Lee) and daycare (Anton); establishing new routines; continuing edits on my manuscript. There were a couple of personal crises in there, too, that needed navigating. And that was all just in the latter of the year; the first part is a bit of a blur.
Of course, there’s a lot to be grateful for. I got to write my dream cookbook, go on a trip of a lifetime, and move closer to family. And I do think that this stage spurred a lot of personal growth—and grit. But, I’m looking forward to a bit of respite in the new year (fingers crossed). It’s nice to feel a little bored here and there, you know?
Now, I’m not sure if that will happen—I’m starting to realize that life never truly slows down. But, over the past few weeks, I’ve been mulling over a few changes that I’d like to enact to help with the overwhelm I feel at times. I’m choosing to see them more as themes that I’d like to lean into, rather than resolutions (because Lord knows I’ve never kept a New Year resolution in my life). Here we go:
More self-compassion and forgiveness. Years ago, I took a Mindfulness-Self Compassion workshop that changed the way I approach anxiety, fear, and hardship. Of course, this is a practice that well, requires, practice and I’ve long fallen off the train wagon. Recently, I’ve noticed that I’ve been carrying around a lot of self-criticism and blame—a lot of “I’m not enough this” or “I’m too much that”—that has started to feel really heavy. So I’m recommitting to cultivating awareness around these negative thoughts and countering them with loving kindness.
Being intentional with my time. I’ve gotten into a vicious cycle of picking up my phone and scrolling through social media first thing in the morning. It leaves me feeling icky and undermines my productivity and focus for the day— and yet I continue to do it anyways. The most feasible first step I can think of is keeping my phone overnight in a completely different room, which has helped a lot in the past. I’m also thinking of restricting the hours on which I can be on my phone. Say for instance, not before 8am and after 8pm. We’ll see.
That’s one habit I want to drop. One that I’d like to pick up is making something creative and visual with my hands that’s not food-related. Practicing mindfulness while stretching my brain in a new way. I’m considering Wendy MacNaughton’s brilliant 30 Days of Drawing challenge. The nice thing is that it doesn’t require buying a ton of supplies and it’s a pretty small time commitment. Keeping things simple!
Cultivating accountability and focus. This is the first time since Anton was born that I have five full-days of daycare. Plus I’ve gone full freelance. (There is still plenty of work to be done on the cookbook, but it’s starting to slow down.) Without a big project to structure my days and only myself to answer to, I’ve started to feel a little lost—and even dreadful of the work week?! Which is so ironic given that this is all I’ve been wishing for since becoming a mother.
So, if any of you have tips or suggestions on how to help whip oneself into “working shape,” I’d love to hear them. So far, I’m working on creating a daily schedule for myself—compartmentalizing my work day into blocks—and see how that goes. I also just signed up for
’s Newletter Workshop to help me really kick this space into high gear and am really looking forward to it.
All in all, I just kind of want to lock into a good, sustainable groove and take it from there. Easier said than done, but let’s see. Who’s with me?
Lastly, before I go, I want to thank you all for taking the time to reading and supporting this (so far, sporadic) newsletter of mine. I am so grateful.
Wishing you all a wonderful start to the new year xo
Polina
Beautifully stated and much appreciated! Happy New Year abd thank you as well, Polina!!